Fat Bees and Rejected Kidneys

Today we were visited by my uncle, aunt and baby cousin. During his stay my step-father stated that he has never seen a fat bee. To which I quickly responded “I have”.
My uncle then questioned this, “How do you know?”.
I responded, “it was chubby”.
“How did you know it was chubby?”
“It had tits” - I felt that explained it all.

Later on in the day he began talking about a friend of his who had given a kidney away to one of her friends. Then going on to say he would only ever do that for my aunt, his son, my mother and then there was a pause.
“Oh thanks” I came out with sarcasticly.
“Oh yeah sorry, and you of course” he responded trying to save himself.
“I don't want it anyway”
The look of shock and horror on his face was priceless.

“It's not even like his body is medically rejecting it....He's just rejecting it straight up” my offended uncle finished with.

Now lets just hope I'm ever in need a his kidney otherwise I'd have to face major payback.

Greed

If there is some form of treats in the house, from chocolate to ice cream, you can bet that it won't last long in my house. And that's for one reason and one reason only. My Step-Father. So to combat this “problem” I've come up with two solutions. A. I hide anything I want to be able to eat for more than a day or B. I use his technique and pig out on the day of arrival.

I'm all for B.

H.N.Y!

Just like to wish all the readers a Happy New Year. As we welcome in a new year, we have to think about all of the things we have done wrong in the past twelve months, and how we can improve them for the upcoming year. But then again we'll just end up making more mistakes. So scratch my last sentence. And just have fuck-loads of fun!! Just like Woody.

Wrath - Part 2

I'm about to send my Xbox off to get it repaired and I've got to put it in a box for it to be collected. I look around my house for a suitable box. Not finding one I return to my room, only to see the perfect box sitting on the top of my cupboard.

So I'm sending my Xbox to get repaired.....In my old PS2 box. Irony at it's best I believe.

Gluttony

For this sin there have been two instances on my part since and during Christmas. The first is the basic, it's Christmas day, a time where pick 'n mix sweets are breakfast and you, well I defiantly do, eat about 3 different meals for lunch. It's the meal to end all meals, I once heard someone say that “if the roast dinner is the king of dinners then the Christmas dinner is the king of roast dinners”, that is exactly what it is and that's the reason every year, everyone who eats it, has to commit the sin of Gluttony. Them's the rules.

The second count, on my behalf, was today when I went out to check the post-Xmas sales. Usually I'm like every other patron that walks into a store with a 10ft “SALE” sign, just buying anything that I may use some time in the near future. But unlike most years I was quite reserved, that is until I got to the comic shops at the end of Oxford St. Having not spent a lot of money on the way, only buy a few DVDs, I had quite a bit left and if I'm let into a comic shop with cash to spend you can almost guarantee that I'm not going to be coming out with that money. Them's some more rules.
Almost halfway now. Only four sins left.

Wrath

I've had my Xbox 360 for over a year now, and have been a very loyal Xboxer since I got it. Showing and convincing others of it superiority over Nintendo Wii and PS3 especially, which didn't seem hard as from what I can see it is a superior console. Ok, so Microsoft backed the wrong format but that's only one aspect where it does not surpass PS3, but on the whole, the controllers, the game quality and choice have and are still all better than the alternatives. And until this day I believed I was safe from the dreaded “Red Rings of Death” but I was sorely mistaken. After hearing that not one, not two, but three of my fellow Xboxers had experienced some problems with their own console, I began to fear a bit for my Xbox's safety. But I thought it would never happen to me, but it did. And it couldn't have happened at a worse time, over fucking Christmas. When I have more time and games to play is when my Xbox decides it's time to break down. Not only that but over the holidays I will not be able to fix it as everything will be closed, including the couriers and help lines. So instead I've emailed them, and now lie in wait of their response. All I can do is rant about how much this has pissed me off. Fucking Microsoft!!

I never thought I'd say this but this may just be the tipping point that leads me back to Sony. Come the January sales PS3 will most likely have some good deals one and if I've got nothing to play I might just have to get one. That'll be my revenge for Xbox fucking me over like that.

Envy

While out on a regular trip to pick up this weeks comics, I noticed a real life model in the window of a lingerie shop, and I wasn't the only one. A man in front of me noticed and look at her while his wife, who was... to put it nicely.... short and stout, obviously did not approve. She gave the model one look and then turned her head and whispered “Slag” as she walked her husband away. Thinking she had gotten away with it made it all the more funnier, but with her build I wasn't going to be the one to say anything to her. But I'm sure what she meant to say was, “why can't I ever look that good?” and could then proceed to call the young lady a slag. Not that I approve of or agree with her.

Now as I haven't had anything to write about for a while I've decided the best way to sort this is by choosing a theme. My theme will be the seven sins. Today's entry obviously centered on Envy. One down six to go.